I'm Almost Old
Heartfelt Advice to My Younger Self
As I enter the twilight of my 20s, I reminisce on the memories of what was and what could have been.
Our 20s are supposed to be the best part of our life, aren’t they?
Didn’t Pop Culture teach us about
The 27 Club.
The good die young.
Life fast, die young. Leave a beautiful corpse.
We tell people these times are the best because you have less responsibility.
Then wonder why so many are affected by Peter Pan Syndrome. An odd society we live in. Which thinks things happen in the ether. Out of nowhere.
Who I was at 18 and who I am now are remarkably different, whilst staying incredibly similar. While I am much more secure of myself, the things I love barely changed.
I still listen to rock music, though I’m much more eclectic.
I still love travelling and have picked up 2 new languages.
My awe for knowledge and the arts, or the hustle and bustle of the New Yorks of the world never changed.
I was always an old soul anyway.
The wonders of youth came across as too narcissistic for me. Not that I didn’t indulge in them (more than I probably should have).
But I always felt as the odd one out in such occasions. And called it social awkwardness. Or anxiety.
Tips to my younger self:
What follows are not just lessons but lifelines I would extend to my younger self, distilled from a decade of triumphs, missteps, and everything in between.
Personal Development
Go Backpacking ASAP. Alone. You’ll grow at a 10X rate.
Enjoy dates with yourself. Not needing other people is liberating.
There is no one to blame for things, but yourself. Either change the thing or change your perception. Read that again.
You deserve better.
The most important person in your life is you. Being selfish in the short run will equip you to better help other people in the future. In other words: put the mask on yourself first before assisting others.
Believe it and you’ll achieve it.
Career and Education
College isn’t that hard. You just need better habits.
You can become anything you set your mind to.
Find ways to see the awesomeness in anything you need to learn. Fascination will make it fun. As Feynman said, 'Everything is interesting if you go into it deeply enough'
A job interview is just a conversation. Don’t overcomplicate it. (Goes for any convo)
‘Tell me about yourself’ doesn’t mean you need to stick to career talk. Share how playing guitar taught you discipline, or how traveling broadened your horizons.
Start reading books again sooner, especially the classics.
Learn to code. It IS for you!
Relationships and Social Skills
You won’t be the smartest person in every room. That is AWESOME! Get inspired by others, not intimidated.
People are just… people. That professor, future boss, or person you’re into won’t bite! Unless you ask them to.
Be the one who says hello first. It’s only awkward if you make it so.
Always respect the bro code.
If you want to fish, go to a pond.
People aren't crazy for having a different point of view. They've just lived different stories. Imagine if you had walked in their shoes.
Health and Wellbeing
Exercise regularly. You’ll get into shape quickly.
Go to sleep if there's no good reason to stay up.
Video games are mostly a waste of time, especially those without an end.
Appreciate the small things. Life is awesome!
Quit seeking cheap dopamine.
Take cold showers.
Meditate.
Be mindful of what you’re doing. Just pay attention!
I know you’re having fun!
Financial Wisdom
You are the best financial instrument. Invest in yourself!
Understand compound interest and use it to your advantage.
It’s better to own the stock than a fund based on a stock. You’ll earn the dividends and avoid admin fees.
Investing is good, but investing in yourself is better. At this stage, you're maximizing potential future earnings. A small stock investment can't compete with the returns from investing in knowledge and skills.
Buy Bitcoin when you hear of it in 2013. Hold it for a very long time!
Earn in strong currency. Spend in weak currency.
Leverage the skills you already have.
Experiences are an investment. The earlier you gain them, the greater the compounding returns.
Skipping $5 coffees will not make you rich.
There’s a reason rich people pay to get into certain places.
If it’s free, you’re probably the product.
Life Philosophy
Where there is a will, there is a way. Focus on solutions, not problems.
Quit putting yourself down and calling it humor. Self-deprecation is only funny when it comes from a place of true self-esteem.
No problem is unsolvable. No solution is bulletproof.
Hedonism is a distraction, not a silver bullet.
The Lindy Effect: Focus more on evergreen value than shiny objects.
Don’t close doors on yourself. If the world must close a door on you, let it do the dirty work.
Stop trying to find logic in social interactions. How you say it is often more important than what you say.
Show up. Well-groomed, with good body posture, and feeling self-assured. You’ve just won 80% of the battle.
Do the Grandpa stuff: firm handshake, strong eye contact, remember people’s names…
Don’t obsess about things that aren’t worth obsessing about.
When opportunity knocks, dive in headfirst.
Pessimists may be right, but optimists are happier (and often wealthier)
Don't put others' achievements on a pedestal. Your 'normal' could be extraordinary to them.
You create your reality. How you perceive things is more important than the things themselves.
A positive attitude and a big smile open more doors than you'd expect.
Big shots are often looking to mentor someone with potential, just like you.
The world is full of opportunity. You just need to know where to look.
Do the hard stuff first. Free mental bandwidth for other pursuits.
Someone will always be disappointed, no matter what you do. Don't let their frowns deter you. To make an omelette, you have to break some eggs.
Be bold. Take actions others fear, and you'll achieve results they can only dream of.
Train harder than the real deal, and Game Day will be easy.
Stop taking the news seriously. Focus on what you can control.
Don't shy away from taking charge. You are the type of leader that people crave.
People don't think about you as much as you think they do. Do what you must, regardless.
And if they did, you shouldn’t care too much, anyway!
Looking Forward
The time is now!
The only thing I regret in my 20s is wasting time thinking about the past.
Too much energy that could be better spent building a better future.
But things have changed.
I have changed. I’ve unleashed the badass Rockstar I craved to become as a teenager. I’ve done things he’d find awesome. And things he’d regret.
There is very little I actually regret doing. Mostly, my regrets regard NOT doing.
And I’m not letting this happen ever again. Not letting self consciousness or perfectionism keep me from knocking on doors. And if they don’t answer, we’ll bulldoze our way through!
I will die a man who looks back and remembers fondly of the risks taken and lessons learned.
A man surrounded by his loved ones, who regrets nothing.
And I’ll build this, day by day.
I encourage you to do the same!
Keep Rockin’,
Gabe (almost old) Ottaviano
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